We really do create our own problems. I have come to realize this truth more and more, with every passing year, with each passing day. I witness indisputable evidence of this fact in every facet of our ecumean. Every enclave of our society bears guilt. We as citizens of democracy bear guilt. Our dysfunction is the direct result of an unwillingness to root out the systemic petulance, which plagues us. I see it in our country. I see it within my own family. I do not omit my own guilt. I do my best to purge myself of such human failing as I might and yet I am still at fault. I feel at times that we – collectively – have ceased to breath, to feel, to hesitate, to question, to contemplate; that this country has been lulled into a narcomatose state of remission by decades of economic prosperity. Which is my way of saying the American people have become complacent, indifferent, and entirely insulated from the rest of the world. Our delusion of cultural superiority will inevitably come crashing down in the after math of economic and political polices which can only serve to undermine the foundation of this country.
We dictate the future course of history but we remain forever powerless over the past. We are still victims of the inadequacies of our forefathers. This country is currently immersed in a cultural conflict which began in the early middle ages, and which has become compounded by the corporate interests of the industrialized war. We cannot simply extricate ourselves. So ensnared by past events we must desist momentarily to consider the implications of our actions. We –you and I - are the direct products, biologically and intellectually, of the evolution of our species. It is something to think about.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My whole life I have been incited to learn by the extraordinary people I have met. I owe a small part of myself to every person I have ever interacted with. I attempt to arouse the same passion for knowledge within others as I feel within myself. It cannot be disputed that despite my many flaws and failing I am deeply sincere and highly animated person. I harbor a hunger for life, which I cannot contain within my breast. These are qualities about myself that I treasure and which I am continually forced to strive against society in order to protect. I have been told repeatedly to “tone it down”, “to relax,” to be less vehement in the assertion of my views and opinions. Again and again I have been told that people are intimated by the way I present myself, and my unyielding protestation of the feudalism of our society, and the perpetuation of antiquated practices. People don’t like to be forced to address or even contemplate these issues. I believe that you can recognize the frustration I experience. Finding people with whom I can converse is exhilarating. Finding that sympathetic connection with another person is the reason I do not simply melt into the matrix of our culture. I know than that what I experience is not simply illusionary. I wish that discovering that connection with another human being was simpler but than it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. I wish relationships were based on such a connection. Unfortunately relationships have come to refer to a socially binding, mutually beneficial, contract between two individuals. I have explored fissures and cavities within my soul; the vacant spaces in my life and in myself. I am not looking for another human being to plug the void inside me, to fill the hollow spaces and make me feel complete. I am journeying along my own path to comprehend this experience, the human condition, and the mystery of life. I am searching for the meaning of my own existence. I am not looking for fulfillment within another person. I want some to explore the empty space within me, someone who will fathom the depth of this mystery, with me.